It's been over a month since my last post here on Heart of a Jedi, and that's because there's been a rancor in the room I didn't know how to address. As everyone knows, The Mandalorian and Grogu hit theaters last week, and the internet has been ablaze ever since running through it's favorite cycle: Star Wars discourse. It's Sisyphean at this point.
But the release of the movie left me with a quagmire for this blog: how do I run a Star Wars focused blog, if I can't review the latest release? I ended up discussing my insecurities about this, and if it was even worth continuing writing about my love for this franchise, with one of my best friends, and she suggested leaning into it and addressing it.
In the immortal words of Jango Fett, I'm a simple (wo)man trying to make her way through the galaxy; I'm a Freelancer who survives off little gigs and the generosity of my family and others. In other words, it's simply not feasible for me to be able to go off to the theater whenever a Star Wars movie is released, no matter how much the truth of that statement aches.
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| Me at Galaxy's Edge in 2025, a one in a million trip made possible by my two best friends |
About a month before Mando hit theaters, I entertained the possibility of treating myself to it, and ran the numbers. $20 for an Uber back and forth, and another $18 for a movie ticket. With my budget as tight as it is, I immediately nixed the idea (though I'd never been fully serious about it to begin with); $38 to go see a film by myself was too ludicrous to even consider. I could order more food with that same money, or even order take-out if I was feeling particularly indulgent.
Doubt began to creep in after that: I'd already committed to this project, but how would I ever be taken seriously if I couldn't afford to be a Star Wars fan? When you look into the community on Instagram, you're met with various influencers showing off their latest merchandising hauls, their trips to premieres or to Lucasfilm, seemingly daily trips to Galaxy's Edge, and so much more. It's a very specific image of what a Star Wars content creator should look like, and as much as I love watching and celebrating my fellow fans' wins, I was also contending with feeling like an imposter. If I couldn't do these things, what did that mean for this blog?
It's taken me over a month to even come close to an answer: there are plenty of other Star Wars news sites and accounts, and frankly, news about the franchise rarely interests me. I'm not a journalist, and I'm not a shareholder: ratings, box office earnings, trailers - those are not the things I prefer to focus on while discussing Star Wars. For me, the appeal of the franchise has always been its storytelling, characters, and themes. The way it echoes mythology, to craft a universe that is equal parts tragedy, opera, and fairytale.
Yet, when I opened this blog, I shirked those passions to instead follow suit with what I knew was traditionally "expected" of me as a writer. I ignored the voice in my head that had drawn me away from a career in the writing industry in the first place, when I'd realized what I'd been chasing after was a place to share my thoughts on why I love this franchise, and finding connection through my voice.
After I quit writing professionally, I took to Tumblr and began writing analysis on the films: in those years since, I have made countless friends and acquaintances, all because I couldn't stop tinkering and teasing apart these stories to see what made them tick.
That's what Heart of a Jedi should be: not me following in the footsteps of what's expected of me, but forging my own path, and carving out a place where I can gush about Star Wars: the mythic elements, the behind the scenes journeys that I'm obsessed with, the things that I'm truly passionate about, instead of playing it safe with news entries.
And that's what this blog will be about from here on out, because this is the way.